We've been netiquette'ing for more than a year and a half now, and when we ask friends/acquaintances/the gaping maw of the Internet for their burning questions and column suggestions, one anxiety pops up again and again and again. Here it is, in Mad Libs form:
"My [aunt/boss/elderly neighbor] sent me a friend request on Facebook, and I don't want to accept because [she still thinks of me as a squeaky clean 11-year-old/I don't want him to see pictures of me in a bathing suit/he is freaking OLD]. But I know he or she will notice if I don't accept because [she only has 13 other friends/he said something about it at work/he is weirdly obsessed with me]. What do I dooo?"
-- Every Young Person Ever
Well, EYPE, today is your lucky day. You've got several options, and we're going to present them all to you right here, rapid fire, so you can stop freaking asking us about it already.
With that, we give you: The Ultimate Guide to the Unwanted Friend Request:
Option 1: Ignore
Freud was totally on to something with that whole repression thing. Treat this friend request like all the other vaguely uncomfortable social issues hovering around your shoulders like miniature dementors (the implied ask-out from that weird girl at work! That college student's persistent requests for an informational interview! The voice mails of murmured Fiona Apple lyrics you keep leaving on your ex-girlfriend's phone when you've been hitting the sauce!) and sweep the whole thing under the rug.
Facebook even makes this the default now -- instead of totally rejecting a request, you simply hit "Not now," relegating it to the realm of "hidden requests." Hey, maybe your clueless would-be amigo will just think you never log into the ol' Book of Face.
Editor's note: Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book "Stuff Hipsters Hate." Got a question about etiquette in the digital world? Contact them at netiquette@cnn.com.